


vocals of dawn

by angelfish_a_gogo



Series: moonage daydream [1]
Category: Jrock, The Yellow Monkey (Band)
Genre: Bisexuality, Feelings, M/M, Realizations, band dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25869775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelfish_a_gogo/pseuds/angelfish_a_gogo
Summary: 1. in kazuya's quest to make his band stand out, he finds his world shifting with a relationship starting (?) anew
Relationships: Yoshii "Lovin" Kazuya/Kikuchi "Emma" Hideaki
Series: moonage daydream [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877218





	vocals of dawn

**Author's Note:**

> hi y'all. i took down my last yemon fic because it needed a few tweaks and those tweaks led to writing more fics that took the shape of a series. so, welcome to the moonage daydream series! this is the beginning (the beginning). please note that i am using first names -- lovin is "kazuya" and emma is "hideaki" -- for the sake of continuity (i.e, no yoshii and emma). same with yoichi and eiji aka heesey and annie, respectively. if you enjoyed this story, please let me know! (why do i always fall for the rare pairs in western fandom...)

Kazuya wrung his hands nervously as he contemplated his latest idea for their live shows. They had managed to amass a small, but dedicated fanbase over the past year since Hideaki joined and their lineup was cemented and — 

Hideaki, hmm.

He was _interesting_ to say the least. Kazuya still hadn’t figured out the older man’s personality other than his, only very slightly, annoying habit of consistent tardiness. On one hand, he was shy and quiet; only spoke when spoken to, first. At the same time, he was charming and accommodating, and anyone who came across his path seemed to fall in love with him. He was easy-going and carefree, yet fiercely stubborn and unyielding when least expected. To Kazuya’s surprise, Hideaki hadn’t pushed back on his latest plan to act out one of their newest songs. If anything, he seemed amused and immediately caught the reference.

_“Okay, I know it will feel strange but Bowie made it look so cool!” Kazuya said rapidly to his bandmates, his speech covering up his nerves and his pale makeup thankfully masking his cheeks._

_Yoichi pursed his lips in thought and then replied, “What will feel strange? I don’t understand.” He called over his shoulder to the men sprawled out on the couch. “Oi, Elder Kikuchi! The hell is he talking about?”_

_Eiji, the Younger Kikuchi, snorted at the nickname and Hideaki looked up from his guitar with an easy smile settling on his features._

_“He’s talking about Bowie and Mick Ronson.” he replied. “Bowie used to like,” Hideaki stopped to blow a tuft of hair out of his eyes and continued, “lick all over Ronson’s guitar, man. He used to chew on the strings, hump his leg, that kind of stuff — it was wild.”_

_Yoichi looked back over to Kazuya who looked a bit sheepish after listening to the description aloud. “Oh, is that all?” Yoichi asked sweetly. “Come on and give us a smooch!” He then comically squinted his eyes and puckered his lips while making exaggerated kissing noises, causing the brothers to double over in laughter._

_“Ahh! I wasn’t going…to…ask you.” Kazuya said, his voice dropping in volume with each word, embarrassment coloring his voice. Yoichi’s eyes flew open and Eiji’s and Hideaki’s mouths snapped shut._

_“I, uh, was going to ask Hideaki to join me.”_

To everyone's complete surprise, especially Kazuya and especially Eiji, Hideaki still agreed to be Kazuya's partner in the act. 

He and Hideaki were rooming together for the night and in Kazuya’s mind, it seemed like the best time to run through any lingering doubts about the set. “I can’t believe this is happening.” Kazuya muttered to himself as he shuffled down the hallway to their shoebox-sized hotel room. Twenty minutes prior, when he first walked through the door, Hideaki made him pop down to the liquor store before he even opened his mouth. Kazuya had never felt more grateful. 

Sliding his key into the door, Kazuya walked into the room to the sound of Hideaki firing off some licks. Kazuya set the cans down as gently as possible on the bureau but he still caught Hideaki’s attention. Hideaki grinned up at him and set his guitar aside, while reaching out for one of the beers. Kazuya quietly handed him one and leaned along the wall, watching the man in front of him. He sipped his beer silently as Hideaki cracked his open and downed a few hearty gulps. 

Kazuya tried to summon a bit of courage and cleared his throat to speak but Hideaki beat him to it. 

“Why are you being so awkward? Relax, come — “ Hideaki patted the bed across from him, “Sit down. You look like you’re going to faint.” 

Kazuya looked at little miffed at his emotions being so easily read, but rather than argue, he did as he was asked and stiffly sat down in front of his bandmate. Hideaki frowned at him and asked, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Kazuya jumped a little and replied, “Oh, nothing’s wrong! I’m sorry. I’m just thinking…”

“If this is about the whole, err, entanglement…”

Kazuya shrunk back a bit and Hideaki rushed forward to soothe him, “Okay, I’m sorry!” he said with a soft laugh, as he patted Kazuya’s thigh. Kazuya shook his head and muttered, “No, no, it’s fine.” 

He then made the quick decision to down his entire can in one go. 

Hideaki could only blink when Kazuya dropped the empty can on the table. He then sat back and regarded the younger man under his bangs. “So…” he started, “Why do you want to do this anyway? If it makes you so uncomfortable?”

Kazuya picked up another can and rolled it between his hands. “Because the idea of it really does seem cool. But, not because it involves one dude going to town on another dude,” He heard Hideaki snort and continued, “So, yeah, what Bowie and Ronson did was subversive, but it also felt right? It’s so easy to block out a song that is about like, two dudes, but Bowie made it so you couldn’t look away. It was right in your face. You had to watch it and in a way, you had to honor it.” Kazuya straightened up and looked over at his bandmate, who appeared to be listening deeply. 

“I just want to write a song that no one will ever be able to forget with a performance that will last beyond the stage.” He said, with an air of finality. 

Hideaki nodded as he set his beer on the nightstand. “I hear you, but you still seem so uncomfortable.” He leaned back on his hands and looked up at the ceiling. “Maybe we could mime it?” he wondered aloud, “It could be faked right? You wouldn’t have to touch me at all.”

“No.”

Hideaki jerked his head down in surprise, “No?”

Kazuya frowned, “No, it has to be real.”

Hideaki huffed and sat forward. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

They stared at each other for a beat before laughing shyly and looking away. 

After a few moments, Hideaki exclaimed, “Are we gonna do this or what?” in slight exasperation.

Kazuya leapt to his feet and stood over Hideaki, while Hideaki watched him silently. Kazuya slowly lowered himself, one leg folded at a time, to his knees in front of Hideaki, whose legs were relaxed and open. He shuffled forward and silently gulped as his bandmate widened his stance just enough to let him in. Kazuya’s hands trembled slightly as he rested them against Hideaki’s lower thighs. He could barley hear anything over the sound of his heart beating through his chest and blood rushing through his ears and he just managed to suppress a shudder when Hideaki leaned forward to whisper against the top of his head, 

“Just relax.”

Kazuya audibly sighed and smoothed his hands up Hideaki’s thighs and back down again. Up and down, he repeated, as if to familiarize himself with the act of touching another man intimately — Hideaki, intimately. Hideaki leaned back on his hands once more and let Kazuya be. 

“How are you not freaking out right now?” Kazuya asked softly, his hands having moved from Hideaki’s thighs now to his stomach, feeling the strong muscles underneath. 

Hideaki smiled and replied back just as softly, “I am freaking out, a little. I didn’t know I’d be signing up for this when I agreed to stick around.”

Kazuya laughed a little and his fingertips glided down Hideaki’s sides, causing him to squirm and giggle. 

“…Have you kissed a guy before?” Kazuya asked cautiously. 

“Yeah. I have.” 

Kazuya looked up at Hideaki in shock, while Hideaki just shrugged, his eyes still on the ceiling. 

“No way. When? Hey, look at me!” Kazuya pinched Hideaki’s side to get his attention and was nearly crushed by how quickly Hideaki slammed his thighs together. He squirmed and laughed as he tried to get his bearings, while Kazuya could only hold onto his hips and the bed to keep from falling over. Once Hideaki relaxed, Kazuya sat back on his heels, but still just a hair’s breadth from his bandmate. 

“When did you kiss a guy?”

Hideaki’s cheeks reddened slightly and he looked away from Kazuya’s stare. “My first time? In high school. The last time? In that band I was going to join.”

Kazuya’s mouth fell open in shock, “The one you were going to leave us for?”

Hideaki’s mouth twisted into an embarrassed smile, but stayed silent.

“Okay, okay, that band aside, you kissed a boy in high school? How?”

Hideaki finally looked back at Kazuya to give him a cheeky smile. “I’ve been told that I’m kinda pretty for a boy.”

Kazuya groaned loudly as Hideaki snickered. His hands found Hideaki’s hips once more and he blurted out the first thought that came to mind.

“Can I kiss you?”

Hideaki abruptly stopped laughing and looked down at Kazuya. They looked at each other for a long moment before Hideaki nodded. Again, Kazuya summoned the courage to push himself off of his heels and lean forward towards Hideaki’s lips. He briefly hesitated, then he gently brushed their lips together and learned back just enough to see Hideaki’s face clearly. 

Hideaki’s eyes were half-lidded and his gaze followed Kazuya’s every movement. Kazuya looked back down at Hideaki’s lips again, still slightly parted, and he leaned in again, this time to press their lips together a bit more firmly and ended it just as quickly as the first. His felt his pulse quicken and vaguely registered Hideaki saying his name before he leaned in again, this time, wrapping his arms around Hideaki’s middle and pressing their torsos together as tightly as he pressed his lips. He felt something within spur him into planting another kiss after that one, their lips barely breaking apart. And again, this time with his tongue tracing the seam of Hideaki's lips and twisting inside once he was granted entry. 

Kazuya was like a man starved as they kissed one another, his head naturally turning at an angle to lick deeper into Hideaki's mouth. He could only point to a burgeoning lust that took over as he lifted himself off of his knees, pushed Hideaki onto his back, climbed on top of him. They continued until they were nearly dizzy from lack of oxygen, and only a quick breath was allowed before Kazuya dove in again. Their kissing started to get a bit frantic as Kazuya’s emotions ramped up, and Hideaki let out a discontented groan just before turning his head away. Kazuya stared down at him panting harshly. He could feel Hideaki’s chest heaving as strongly as his own and just as he was about to speak, Hideaki looked back at him.

“Where the hell did that come from?” he asked incredulously, his voice hoarse as he tried to catch his breath. 

Kazuya froze as the full reality of what just happened hit him with full force. _We kissed, no, we fucking made out. I made out with my bandmate, I’m on top of my bandmate, I —_. His mind ran a mile a minute as the realization made itself known on his face. Hideaki reached up to touch his shoulder but Kazuya jumped off of him like he had been scalded. Kazuya looked frantically around the room before running out, Hideaki’s voice echoing in his ears.

He ended up around the corner crouched down next to a street lamp and a broken vending machine. In his haste to get away, Kazuya left behind his room key, his wallet, and his new pack of cigarettes. Luckily, he found one last stick and his zippo in his pockets, and it was enough to calm him down as he gazed up at the moon. Kazuya heard the footsteps of heavy boots, but didn’t turn his head even as a shadow appeared out the corner of his eye. He only looked up when the cigarette was taken out of his mouth and stuck between his bandmate’s plush lips. 

Hideaki took a long drag and exhaled lazily, choosing to keep the cig for now. He looked up at the moon, like Kazuya had done just a few seconds prior.

“You freaked out.” Hideaki stated nonchalantly. 

Kazuya turned his head away and dropped his head between his knees. “Yeah…” he replied softly.

“Are you going to do that on stage, too?”

“Eh?” Kazuya looked up at Hideaki, his eyes as wide as the full moon in the sky. 

“You heard me.” Hideaki replied, a soft grin gracing his features. Kazuya found himself smiling, too, in spite of his swirling feelings in the pit of his stomach. 

Hideaki gestured at him to stand up and just as Kazuya rose to his feet and stretched out his back, Hideaki moved in, grasping the back of his neck, and pulling him down to his lips. Kazuya squeaked in surprise but quickly grounded himself with his hands finding Hideaki’s hips and managed to return a kiss tinged with lingering tension from before. After a beat, Hideaki pulled back, this time with that easy smile on his face and that same half-lidded look from before. He pushed the half finished cig in between Kazuya’s lips and turned away. Kazuya watched him get a few steps ahead before Hideaki looked back and gestured at him to come on, with a quick flick of his head. 

“So, what happens now?” Kazuya asked, once he caught up to Hideaki. 

Hideaki smiled a little before replying, “We need a little more practice.” 

Kazuya gasped loudly and wrapped himself around Hideaki’s arm, causing the older man to stumble slightly before righting them both. Any lingering fear quickly faded away with the promise of something new, yet unknown as the two men walked arm in arm into the fading night.


End file.
